Much Better

Wow what a major difference in last week and this week! I put God first everyday and my week was amazing! I got to rock the babies at church Wednesday night, Paul got a raise, I sold a ton of my stuff at the consignment sale, got two North Face jackets for super cheap, my fender bender issue was resolved, got to spend time with Lizzie, enjoyed see Hannah's spring program (which she did awesome by the way lol ), was able to be a blessing and not a burden, enjoyed a beautiful day outside with Hannah on Friday, and had a much needed relaxing weekend with my two favorite people.

You know, It just really amazes me how much your day can change if you just start it with Gods word. I am not one that likes to read so it is hard for me to just sit down with the bible. I have tried several times and failed. I will get half way through Genesis and quit. I get so frustrated because I do not understand a lot what I am reading. So I either listen to podcast or watch Joyce Meyers. I can really relate to Joyce. We have the same kind of personality so we struggle with a lot of the same issues. Plus she does a great job of relating God's word to our everyday life. .

For this week, I have decided to try to become more in awe with God. I think that my relationship with God has become too casual. I need to take time to smell the flowers. God has made tremendous changes in my life and for that I should be utterly and totally in awe of him everyday! You know the other day a friend of mine said that I reminded her of someone. I asked her what made us similar. Her response was you know because you have all your ducks in a row. You have the perfect life. (my life is not perfect any means but I did finally find true love and I am blessed with awesome family & friends) As soon as she said this I felt horrible, guilty, and ashamed. Why did it make me feel bad when she said that? Why should I be ashamed or feel bad that God has blessed me with a wonderful life?

If she only knew what my life use to be like and what I went through to get to where I am today. For MANY years, I lived a life of hell. The devil was always a step ahead of me. I could never catch a break. Which of course the devil never gives you a break, does he. When you do not have God in your life it is easy for the devil to sneak in and take over. Finally one day I hit rock bottom and had no one to turn to so I found my way back to God. Boy did he have his work cut out for him! I was in pretty bad shape. My self confidence had been torn down on a daily basis and it did a lot more damage than I realized. So God decided to start there. Not long after I turned to God I started to realize that to have a meaningful relationship I had to love myself before I could love anyone else. I never really knew the meaning of true love until God brought Paul into my life. I don't think Paul realized that he had his work cut out for him too. lol It didn't take him long to get me back in church, loving the Lord, and wanting to be a better person. I started to notice all of Paul's Godly traits and would think to myself why can't I be like that? It was not an overnight change thats for sure! It took several years and I still work on it everyday. As Joyce Meyers says, " I am not there yet but thank God I am not where I use to be!" I hate that I had to go through 10 years of hell to get where I am today, but if I had not had those life experiences I would not be able to appreciate what I now have. So with all that being said I need to be more in awe of God!!! If he can take my messed up life and make it what it is today, then my friends he has proven once again that he IS capable of miracles. ; )

So if encourage you to join me this week and ask yourself......Are you married to God or just dating him?

I also want to say a quick word to my readers in Japan. I noticed last week that even with all the devastation going on in your country, you still took time to read my blog. That simply amazes me!! I want you all to know that you and your country are in my prayers and to please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Prayers & Hugs,

Kimberly